1
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,041
Well, see you next year,
Donovan.

2
00:00:07,042 --> 00:00:09,876
And, Jayden, when I figure out
who broke your candy cane,

3
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,745
there will be hell to pay.

4
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:17,685
Aw. It's always so sad when the
Christmas decorations come down.

5
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:20,688
You know, what's really sad
is that it's almost March.

6
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:21,855
(laughs)

7
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,126
Yeah, well, don't remind me.
All this time,

8
00:00:25,226 --> 00:00:28,362
and I still have gotten no
nibbles on my job applications.

9
00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:32,566
I keep telling you, you've got
to zhuzh up your r�sum� a bit.

10
00:00:32,666 --> 00:00:34,286
Well, you know, you say "zhuzh,"

11
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,537
but what you really mean is
"lie."

12
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:40,108
Still feel terrible about
shrinking the font size to 11.

13
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:42,543
Come on, babe.

14
00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:44,644
You're up against people
who are embellishing

15
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,113
the hell
out of their achievements,

16
00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:49,216
and your r�sum�-
it's just so honest.

17
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,217
(stammers)

18
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,551
Look at this. Look at this.

19
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:55,088
He has a section
called "Weaknesses."

20
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:56,490
Car sickness?

21
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:59,059
In case they wanted to carpool.

22
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,563
Mrs. B,

23
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,265
thanks for lending us Terrence.

24
00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:05,732
Oh, no, no, no!
Don't put him there!

25
00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:09,270
Uh-uh, girl.
Him and Jimmy got beef.

26
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:13,774
No, no, no. I got you,
I got you, I got you.

27
00:01:14,875 --> 00:01:17,745
Dave, your competition
is making up

28
00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,713
all kinds of stuff
on their r�sum�.

29
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:24,252
If you want to make an honest
living, you gonna have to lie.

30
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,455
I guess you make a good point.

31
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:30,858
The good point I've been making
for four months?

32
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,761
You know, Calvin, you're right.

33
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,765
Maybe I do need to
zhuzh it up a little.

34
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:41,302
He didn't even say "zhuzh."
I said "zhuzh."

35
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:44,638
I have to say,
I'm on Team Calvin.

36
00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,439
You mean Team Gemma!

37
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,176
Whoa.

38
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:52,279
You wouldn't believe how much
I embellished my r�sum�.

39
00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:53,720
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

40
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,949
Are you saying I hired you
off a zhuzhed-up r�sum�?

41
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,719
Too late.

42
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:02,121
I have your grandbaby.

43
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,124
(laughing)

44
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:08,060
? Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ?

45
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:09,330
? Welcome to the hood. ?

46
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,537
Oh, my God. Gemma!

47
00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:21,442
They just dropped a clip
from the new episode

48
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,043
of Trophy Divas of Brentwood.

49
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,378
- (gasps)
- Okay.

50
00:02:24,379 --> 00:02:26,813
- Savannah took muscle relaxants.
- Uh-huh. (gasps)

51
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:29,182
She drove her Cybertruck
into Sephora.

52
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:30,584
(gasps)
Oh, wait. Oh, wait.

53
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,652
Sephora the store
or Sephora the housewife?

54
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,288
- Bitch, both.
- Oh, my God.

55
00:02:34,289 --> 00:02:36,155
Okay, no, no, no, no.
No more spoilers.

56
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,596
Let's go watch. Let's go watch.

57
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,231
Dave. Dave.

58
00:02:43,331 --> 00:02:46,534
- Guess who just called.
The jeweler. - (sighs)

59
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:49,017
You didn't let me guess.
You know I love to guess.

60
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:50,538
I'm sorry, man.

61
00:02:50,638 --> 00:02:54,675
But Courtney's engagement ring
is finally ready.

62
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:58,379
(chuckles)
Operation Proposal is underway.

63
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,848
- All right.
- Yeah.

64
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:04,285
Now I got to pick the perfect
day to pop the question.

65
00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:07,355
What do you think
of a prime number date?

66
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:09,390
To show that
we can't be divided.

67
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,513
I don't know
what you're talking about.

68
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,896
Hey, Dad, uh,
can you just sign this?

69
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,565
Yeah, sure. What is it?

70
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:20,000
Um, the usual.
No need to bother reading it.

71
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:21,702
I already, uh, read it for you.

72
00:03:21,802 --> 00:03:25,038
In that case,
I definitely want to read it.

73
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:28,509
Hey, Grover, you have played
this very badly.

74
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:33,146
Um, it just says I don't have
to do PE because of my asthma.

75
00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:36,750
Oh, been there. I know exactly
how you feel. (chuckles)

76
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:40,020
No, you don't.
He doesn't have asthma.

77
00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:43,624
What? Little boy,
that is stolen valor.

78
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:47,628
Look, let's not argue over
who does and doesn't have asthma

79
00:03:47,629 --> 00:03:49,796
when all you have to do
is sign your name right there,

80
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,063
and then I get a free period.

81
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,567
Okay, Grover,
that would be a lie.

82
00:03:53,667 --> 00:03:55,569
What? Everybody does it.

83
00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:57,770
Charlie said he was allergic
to his own sweat,

84
00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,808
and Jacob claimed a religious
exemption to volleyball.

85
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,744
I don't care what everyone does.

86
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,415
Honesty matters, and the truth
will always come out.

87
00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:12,252
Remember this:
Real eyes realize real lies.

88
00:04:12,386 --> 00:04:15,088
I'm sorry, what was that?

89
00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:17,924
Okay, you know what?
I'm gonna slow it down.

90
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:20,760
Real eyes

91
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,762
realize

92
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,965
real lies.

93
00:04:25,799 --> 00:04:27,835
I realize
I should have asked Mom.

94
00:04:30,538 --> 00:04:33,206
Okay, close your eyes
and open your mouth.

95
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,745
Mmm. I'm gonna say toro.

96
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,713
- What part of the toro?
- The belly.

97
00:04:39,813 --> 00:04:41,782
Hey, you're getting good
at this.

98
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,317
(laughs)

99
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:47,955
Well, we do sit here every night
and play "guess the sushi."

100
00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:51,719
Mercedes, we've been going out
for the last two months,

101
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:54,160
and you know, we have
never actually gone out.

102
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:59,333
Uh, we go out. We've gone out to
the patio to meet the sushi guy.

103
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,303
Look, come on, Sadie.

104
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,172
(sighs)
Okay.

105
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:08,676
I know it's not ideal,
but as soon as we go out,

106
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,411
everything will change.

107
00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:13,813
People will recognize me
and they'll swarm us

108
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,181
and they'll take our picture

109
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:17,352
and you can kiss
your private life goodbye.

110
00:05:17,385 --> 00:05:19,920
Look, I don't want that, but...

111
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,891
keeping me hidden away like
this, I feel like a side piece.

112
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:27,661
Oh, come on, Malcolm.
You're my only piece.

113
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:29,830
No. No.

114
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,932
No, see, you kissing me
like this

115
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:35,669
will not make these... (grunts)
issues go away.

116
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:37,538
Okay.

117
00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:41,842
Yup. I... (sighs)
What were we talking about?

118
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,684
(sighs)

119
00:05:50,784 --> 00:05:52,753
(clicks tongue)

120
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:54,455
Okay.

121
00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,856
Done. No! Too obvious.

122
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,792
(sighs)

123
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,263
Oh.

124
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,333
(laughs)
She plays chess, you idiot.

125
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,737
(gasps)

126
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:14,041
Hey-hey-hey.

127
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:15,609
Look who's home early.

128
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:18,879
Yup. And I don't have to pick
Daphne up from day care

129
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,148
for another 20 minutes.

130
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,651
- Oh. Really?
- Really.

131
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:27,488
So, I was thinking we could get
into a little afternoon delight.

132
00:06:27,489 --> 00:06:28,521
Oh.

133
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,890
No, no, no, no.

134
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,091
No?

135
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,193
No. No. Uh...

136
00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,929
Not, not on the couch. The bed.

137
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,330
- (chuckles)
- (sighs)

138
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:38,899
So much for spontaneity.

139
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,902
Uh, well, not on the bed,

140
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,070
under the bed.

141
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,440
- (gasps) What?
- (chuckles)

142
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:50,410
Yeah. Look, you said you wanted
spontaneity. Let's go.

143
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,113
- Okay.
- (laughs)

144
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,282
All right!

145
00:06:56,784 --> 00:06:59,085
This is what I'm talking about.

146
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:02,590
This is a well-zhuzhed r�sum�.

147
00:07:02,723 --> 00:07:05,625
Well, a lot of good
it's doing me.

148
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:08,762
All these jobs are just out
of my reach, li-like this one-

149
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:11,732
background in conflict mediation
and therapy.

150
00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,768
Okay, great,
but it's with the L.A. Rams.

151
00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:16,504
Rams?

152
00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:18,305
Yeah.

153
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,442
What's the but? I mean,
there is no but, Dave.

154
00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:26,880
The "but" is, it says
"Football experience a must."

155
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:28,616
(laughing):
Oh, Dave, come on.

156
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:31,118
"Football experience
a must," man.

157
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,220
That could mean anything.

158
00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:38,291
I think it means I must have
football experience.

159
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:40,092
I mean, well,
you played football, right?

160
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,128
- No.
- In middle school.

161
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,598
Nope. The only sports
my mom allowed me to play

162
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:46,799
were coed badminton and soccer.

163
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:51,137
Dave, what does the rest
of the world call soccer?

164
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:53,139
- Football.
- Boom.

165
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,474
(laughs)

166
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:57,177
There's your
football experience.

167
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:59,713
I guess you could make
that case, but, Calvin...

168
00:07:59,714 --> 00:08:01,781
No, no, no, no, no, no, Dave,
no more buts.

169
00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:04,785
Come on, man.
This is a great job for you.

170
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,653
You'll be doing what you love.

171
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:08,822
You'll be providing
for your family.

172
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:10,356
That is true.

173
00:08:10,357 --> 00:08:14,562
And it comes with great perks
for you... and me.

174
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,599
Last season I had a vendor-

175
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,769
they took me to their
luxury box at SoFi Stadium.

176
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,605
(sighs)
Dave, it was paradise.

177
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,174
You and me

178
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,042
hanging out in a luxury box.

179
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,212
Yeah, man,
and-and-and-and, Dave...

180
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:34,081
(laughs)
That dessert cart,

181
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,184
- all the churros
you could eat, baby. - Churros?

182
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:40,287
- Say no more. Game on.
- Let's go.

183
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,291
All right, what we watching?

184
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,326
- Oh, my God.
- (sighs)

185
00:08:46,426 --> 00:08:47,895
We have finished Netflix.

186
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:52,432
- Come on.
- No, baby, look.

187
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,535
Already watched, already
watched, already watched.

188
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,806
It doesn't even have
suggestions.

189
00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:03,243
Okay, uh...

190
00:09:04,712 --> 00:09:05,879
Let's do it.

191
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,781
Get Hulu?

192
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:10,584
Let's get out of here.

193
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:13,587
Wait. Really?

194
00:09:13,588 --> 00:09:15,021
Yeah, but it's got
to be someplace

195
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:16,757
that no one would ever
look for me.

196
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,994
Actually, I know
a secluded place

197
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,830
right here in Venice.

198
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:24,732
Are you sure?

199
00:09:24,865 --> 00:09:26,066
Yes.
(laughs)

200
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,189
Now come on
before you change your mind.

201
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,604
- (sighs)
- (chuckles)

202
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:34,842
And, hey, look, trust me,
we will be inconspicuous.

203
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:35,992
Mmm.

204
00:09:36,043 --> 00:09:38,211
- Ah!
- Unity!

205
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,947
(both laugh)

206
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,314
(stammers)

207
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,282
Shh, shh. Be cool.

208
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,619
- Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.
- I am cool.

209
00:09:45,719 --> 00:09:48,321
Okay, what-what was that shot?

210
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,357
Well, this was
very cheap tequila.

211
00:09:50,457 --> 00:09:52,359
(laughs)
Ding, ding, ding.

212
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:55,294
I told you, see,
"guess the shot"

213
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:57,163
is a lot more fun
than "guess the sushi."

214
00:09:57,164 --> 00:10:00,267
- Hello, Lenny.
Thank you, Leonard. - MERCEDES: Be cool.

215
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:02,402
(both laughing)

216
00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:07,107
(phone camera clicks)

217
00:10:13,506 --> 00:10:16,783
Oh, my God, did you see
the headline

218
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,164
on Entertainment Tonight?

219
00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:20,854
"Mercedes' Mystery Man"?
Of course!

220
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,356
- (laughs)
- Okay?

221
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,525
- I have theories.
- Me, too.

222
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,662
It's got to be the tennis
instructor from season three.

223
00:10:28,762 --> 00:10:31,531
You saw the way
he restrung her racket.

224
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:37,971
No way she's dating
some hourly worker.

225
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:40,774
Oh, my God.
You don't think it could be

226
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:43,176
Savannah's hot stepson?

227
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:46,178
(chuckles)
Tina, her stepson is gay.

228
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:48,480
Mercedes' first husband was gay.
That's her type.

229
00:10:48,481 --> 00:10:50,017
Eh.

230
00:10:50,150 --> 00:10:51,383
(gasps)

231
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:53,185
Have you asked Malcolm?
He knows her.

232
00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:54,987
Uh-bup-bup-bup-bup.
Adding him now.

233
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,724
- (squeals)
- (line rings)

234
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,759
- (grunting)
- Oh.

235
00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:05,132
Mama? Hey, um, good morning.

236
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,900
Malcolm, are you hungover?

237
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:10,637
Yeah, you look horrible. Ugh.

238
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,673
What is Gemma doing here?

239
00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,241
We want answers.

240
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,944
Who is the mystery man?

241
00:11:17,044 --> 00:11:19,546
(groans, stammers)
What are you talking about?

242
00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:23,516
- (gasps) He hasn't seen it yet.
- It's all over the Internet.

243
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:28,321
Mercedes was seen at some
restaurant with a new guy.

244
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,759
- She was?
- Ugh.

245
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:35,594
Who is he? Spill it.

246
00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:38,365
Oh, so-so-so you can't tell
who it is?

247
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:41,168
- Ugh.
- He's a mystery man, duh.

248
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,136
- Duh.
- (chuckles)

249
00:11:43,236 --> 00:11:45,538
Mm-hmm.

250
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:51,244
Uh, wh-wh-whose foot is that?

251
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,749
Mine.

252
00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,419
I'm doing yoga.

253
00:12:00,420 --> 00:12:02,890
Y'all messing up my chi.
I got to go.

254
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,592
- (phone chimes)
- He was useless.

255
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,329
But flexible.

256
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:14,001
Calvin. The guy
from the Rams responded.

257
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:16,369
He wants to Zoom with me
about the job. ASAP.

258
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:17,937
Oh, man, that's great.

259
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,540
Yeah, yeah, but... I have
no idea what I'm gonna say.

260
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,776
Zhuzhing a r�sum� is one thing,

261
00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,946
but a live interview?
That's zhuzh-proof.

262
00:12:25,947 --> 00:12:28,948
I don't know the first thing
about football.

263
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,582
I don't know when they kick.
I don't know why they kick.

264
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:34,121
Okay. (stammers)
Dave, just calm down, all right?

265
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,957
It's a remote job interview.

266
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,993
I can just stand
outside the camera

267
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,496
and coach you,
like a defensive coordinator.

268
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,799
Is that who decides
when they kick?

269
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,003
Baby.

270
00:12:50,004 --> 00:12:51,603
- (both laugh)
- Good morning.

271
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,707
Not as good as...
yesterday afternoon.

272
00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:59,847
I was finding dust bunnies
in my pants all day.

273
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,182
Oh, yeah. Me, too.

274
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,483
(both laugh)

275
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:06,419
We should really use
the Swiffer under there.

276
00:13:06,519 --> 00:13:08,687
Mm.

277
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,022
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa,

278
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,993
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

279
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:16,528
Since when do you eat
Frankenflakes with ScaryBerries?

280
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:19,232
I don't, but I'm out
of raisin bran, so...

281
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,001
Ah-da-da.

282
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,335
(laughs)

283
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,438
- It's mine.
- So?

284
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,174
(yelps, laughs)

285
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:29,209
You wouldn't like it. It...

286
00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,678
it's so fruity, it's scary.

287
00:13:31,778 --> 00:13:33,847
Fine. I'll have yogurt.

288
00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:35,215
Okay.

289
00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:43,924
Ah, you know what? (laughs)
I am being selfish.

290
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:47,294
Here you go. (laughs) Enjoy.

291
00:13:50,283 --> 00:13:54,033
GRAHAM (on Zoom):
A lot of people think,

292
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,903
offseason, must be
pretty easy right now.

293
00:13:56,904 --> 00:14:00,239
Fact is, for those of us
off the field,

294
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,741
it's the busiest time of year.

295
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,378
So you guys
aren't playing right now.

296
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,281
I like a guy who doesn't
take himself too seriously.

297
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:11,050
Now we're just looking forward
to this year's draft.

298
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,952
What do you think
of this kid Brottmiller?

299
00:14:12,953 --> 00:14:15,722
Br-Brottmiller. Uh...

300
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,725
Yeah, he... (chuckles)
he has got an arm.

301
00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,393
(stammers)
And he, uh,

302
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,061
he runs.

303
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:24,231
Out of his pocket.

304
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,367
You know your stuff.

305
00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,903
Maybe we should hire you
as a scout.

306
00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:32,539
You know, I was actually
a Boy Scout.

307
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,809
Yeah, th-that's on your r�sum�.

308
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:40,446
Speaking of which,
football experience.

309
00:14:40,447 --> 00:14:42,649
Tell me, what position
did you play?

310
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:46,086
Position? Well, I was a...

311
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:47,587
I was a strong...

312
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,589
safe...

313
00:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,760
Tea. I was a strong safety.

314
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,795
Would've guessed punter.

315
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,398
But great.

316
00:14:58,399 --> 00:15:00,132
The fact that
you work in mediation

317
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,134
and you're a therapist?

318
00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:03,770
That's what we're looking for.

319
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,305
All right, next step,

320
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,274
we're gonna loop in Tim
and the training staff.

321
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,976
I'll send you a link
later today.

322
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:13,780
Okay, great.
Uh, looking forward to it.

323
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,115
Thank you.

324
00:15:15,116 --> 00:15:16,248
(laptop chimes)

325
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,018
- We did it.
- Yeah, baby.

326
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,619
(both laughing)

327
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:23,123
David, you just nailed it, man.

328
00:15:23,223 --> 00:15:26,793
- Oh, God.
- I can already taste those churros in the luxury box.

329
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:28,294
(gasps)
So it went well?

330
00:15:28,295 --> 00:15:31,231
Gemma, it was a field goal.

331
00:15:32,908 --> 00:15:35,968
Do we really have to play catch?

332
00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:38,438
Yes. What's more American
than a father and son

333
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,839
tossing around the old pigskin?

334
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,409
That was a pig?

335
00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,112
I have no idea.

336
00:15:45,212 --> 00:15:47,146
Now come on, go long.

337
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:50,183
Grover, you're gonna need
this practice for PE. Now hut.

338
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,684
- You got this.

339
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,720
- (mutters)
- (shrieks)

340
00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,490
You threw that right at me.

341
00:15:58,691 --> 00:16:00,760
- Did you just hit my truck?
- No, no, no.

342
00:16:00,761 --> 00:16:03,495
D-Did you just hit my truck?
Dave, did you just hit my truck?

343
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,332
No. Cal-Cal-Calvin. Calvin.

344
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:07,867
I was just trying
to teach football to Grover.

345
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,470
Well, that's nice, but

346
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:14,006
how about we focus on things
we can actually achieve?

347
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,942
Like you getting this job.

348
00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:17,543
Well, I'm feeling
pretty good about it.

349
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,778
Well, feeling pretty good
is not good enough, Dave.

350
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:21,848
You got to ace
this interview, man.

351
00:16:21,948 --> 00:16:23,550
C-Come on, name some players.

352
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,184
Easy. Travis Kelce.

353
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:29,289
Okay, name any player that's
not engaged to Taylor Swift.

354
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:31,858
I got nothing.

355
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:35,528
Dave, you got to pretend
like you know this stuff.

356
00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:39,231
Wait, so I can't fake asthma
to get out of sports,

357
00:16:39,232 --> 00:16:40,862
but you can lie
to get into them?

358
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:43,470
Well, Grover,
it's not the same thing.

359
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:47,207
- Why not?
- Okay, well, superficially, sure, yes,

360
00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,076
but when you're an adult,

361
00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:51,677
you will learn the difference
between real lies

362
00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:54,914
and lies you don't even
realize are lies.

363
00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,859
Dave, what the hell
are you saying?

364
00:16:57,860 --> 00:17:00,086
He's saying adults can lie
and kids can't.

365
00:17:00,087 --> 00:17:01,554
Well, exactly.

366
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,257
(chuckles)
Go on now.

367
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,463
Some of the earliest memories
I have with my dad,

368
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:10,930
watching those Chiefs.

369
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,266
Now Travis Kelce's team.

370
00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:17,737
Well, Dave, clearly you are
a great fit for the job.

371
00:17:17,837 --> 00:17:19,972
We just want to...

372
00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:21,674
Was that your boy?

373
00:17:21,774 --> 00:17:24,144
Hey, little man.

374
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,114
Uh, hello.

375
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,748
How you doing, son?

376
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:32,752
So, are you a third-generation
football fan, huh?

377
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:36,323
You bet he is.

378
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,926
Yes. Uh...

379
00:17:40,026 --> 00:17:41,494
Football is my favorite.

380
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:45,098
I... (chuckles)
Just the way the players...

381
00:17:45,198 --> 00:17:48,635
uh, run, the way
they throw the ball,

382
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,437
you know, and they sometimes

383
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:52,639
catch it. Uh...

384
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:54,590
Well...

385
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:55,941
I-I just try to,

386
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:58,345
I just try to catch
as many games as I can.

387
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:07,654
You must be a proud dad.

388
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,589
Yeah. Um...

389
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,626
I am a proud dad, and...

390
00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,264
I would like to stay that way.

391
00:18:17,364 --> 00:18:18,964
Um, listen,

392
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,835
Graham, I'm gonna be
honest with you.

393
00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,504
I've actually never played...

394
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:30,710
I want those churros, Dave.

395
00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,546
- (both laughing)
- Yes.

396
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,814
- Congratulations, man.
- (both shushing)

397
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,117
Listen, Courtney is a keeper.

398
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:39,985
- Yeah. Thanks, big bro.
- Yeah.

399
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:42,688
- You're welcome.
- And thank you for holding the ring.

400
00:18:42,689 --> 00:18:43,890
Of course, man.

401
00:18:43,891 --> 00:18:45,657
Does this smell
like ScaryBerries?

402
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:49,162
(sighs)
Yes. Yes. It's a long story.

403
00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:51,831
I am telling you, man,
there is no safe place

404
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,921
in this house.
This woman is everywhere.

405
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,202
- Hello.
- (both scream)

406
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,369
- Wow!
- She's omnipresent!

407
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:58,637
Oh, you dropped something.

408
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,105
- (screams) No, no, no, no, no.
- Oh!

409
00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:02,209
- (laughs) No, it's just, um...
- Whoa.

410
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:05,212
It's-it's-it's just,
it's very, very

411
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:06,712
- personal.
- Yeah.

412
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,715
- Oh. Say no more.
- Yeah.

413
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,750
He's extremely constipated.

414
00:19:10,751 --> 00:19:12,851
It's his fiber supplement pills.

415
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,054
- He all locked up in here.
- (laughs)

416
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,388
She said, "Say no more."

417
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:17,690
- Yes, she did.
- Yeah.

418
00:19:17,691 --> 00:19:19,691
Oh, Malcolm, it is nothing
to be ashamed of.

419
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,895
I'm gonna make you
a kiwi smoothie, but

420
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,731
you better not have any plans.

421
00:19:25,732 --> 00:19:28,268
(laughs)

422
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:30,002
You owe me so big.

423
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,945
Calvin, I can't help but feel
like I let you down

424
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:41,280
by not getting that job.

425
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,683
Yeah, because
you did let me down, Dave.

426
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,585
Okay, well, I can look my son
in the eye

427
00:19:46,586 --> 00:19:48,421
and know that
I set a good example.

428
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:50,289
I'm comfortable
with my decision.

429
00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:52,792
Well, not as comfortable
as we would've been

430
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,594
in that luxury box.

431
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:58,430
Dave, don't worry.
You'll get the next one.

432
00:19:58,431 --> 00:19:59,931
I know I will, and... (sighs)

433
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:01,682
Gemma, I don't want you
to feel bad.

434
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,838
I know you meant well when you
told me to lie on my r�sum�.

435
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:11,311
Wait. Now I get the credit?

436
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:13,680
I mean, what were you
thinking, Gemma?

437
00:20:15,982 --> 00:20:17,517
Hey, Gemma, E.T. is back on.

438
00:20:17,518 --> 00:20:20,218
KEVIN FRAZIER (over TV):
And Trophy Diva of Brentwood

439
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,289
Mercedes Selznick
was out on the town,

440
00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:26,359
canoodling with this
tall drink of water.

441
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,796
And all of Mercedes Nation
wants to know:

442
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,797
who is this new boy toy?

443
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:35,335
- Uh... Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
- What?

444
00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:39,638
Oh, my God.

445
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,341
That's Malcolm.

446
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:46,679
(scoffs) Please. That blur?
You can't even see a face.

447
00:20:46,779 --> 00:20:50,016
I don't need to see a face.
Look, the-the ear,

448
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,551
that walk.

449
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:54,320
That ain't no damn boy toy!

450
00:20:54,321 --> 00:20:56,255
That's my baby!

451
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:05,632
Captioning sponsored by
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452
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:09,402
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453
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:13,906
Captioned by
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454
00:21:13,956 --> 00:21:18,506
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